I carry around a weight for Cindy
In my palm, not my heart
I'm more concerned for my mother than anything
I remind myself that as we go about our thoughtless contentment with routines, someone is dying
Someone is about to lose their best friend,
as they stare into a computer screen and feel a sinking in their chest
"You'll need some shoes for formal occaisions and funerals,"
my grandma says
and I know what she's getting at.